How it all began

You’re here and you’re wondering how did this happen? 

How did Bill find his cancer?

To answer this we need to go back a few months.

Bill got asked to coach the High School Throws team at our kids school, CPC. He’d coached at the middle school for 2years. He was excited to coach the girls in high school & was looking forward to it.

The season started off cold & wet. Somewhere in the first few weeks he was demonstrating a drill and “tweaked” his back. Thinking nothing of it he pushed forward. Doing all the normal things ice, stretch & anti-inflammatory meds.

By the time my Dad came to visit for his consultation at Fred Hutch in April his leg was now part of the issue. He started going to chiropractor and I sent him to Airrosti for deep tissue massage. Finally after my prodding he went to doctor. Doctor put him on muscle relaxers and gabbapinton with a referral to PT. The drugs weren’t touching the constant ache. And PT seemed to relieve it only for a few hours. By mid May his doctor ordered an MRI.

The MRI was completed a few days before my dad was found un-conscious. I had flown to Fl overnight because my dad was in ICU & very critical. The doctor called him he had herniated disks & told him to come in 6/5 to go over mri. Which was days after I had already been in Fl with my dad who was still in ICU.

That appointment on 6/5 is where the doctor told Bill “we found a mass. It could be cancer but we’re not sure, we’re referring you to oncology. They’ll call you for an appointment”. Bill left confused & shaken. He waited for Everett clinic oncology to call for 2 days, nothing. He called them and they said “yep, you’re in the Que, we’ll call you when we get to you”. Bill not wanting to wait longer & not wanting to tell me anything until he was sure decided to act on his own. Thanks to my dad’s consultation at Fred Hutch just months before FH was fresh in his mind. He called them and left a message about his situation. Within 12hrs he was called back, appointment booked for the next day & he was on his way to answers. 

When you first get to FH you’re put into “undiagnosed mass” clinic. He was paired with a wonderful ARNP named Carrie who went above & beyond. The first day she ordered 18 vials of blood & Bill learned that he too is a hard stick like me. Carrie moved mountains to get tests, imaging, CT scans and more completed within days. Outwardly Bill looks healthy & all of his normal labs are perfect. He likes to say “I’m the healthiest fat kid you’ll find”

But these scans and blood work confirmed - Cancer. They revealed spots on his spine, skull, 1 tiny spot on a single rib, giant mass in his thigh muscle (prob where it started), hip bone & 2 tumors on his right kidney. The pain in his leg? Cancer that had deteriorated his femur bone and had a fractured the femur bone. He had coached all track season on a broken femur! He was immediately told to be non-weight barring & Sent home with crutches. 

However, hardest part of that appointment that day  was the doctors telling him he couldn’t fly. Because of the spot on brain - the brain mri was for 6/24. My dad’s condition hadn’t improved & we’d made the hard decision to put him in hospice on Fri 6/21. On Thurs 6/20 my brother & John flew to Fl to be with me & Bill told me he couldn’t come till after another mri on his back (not wanting to tip me off). I was speechless. At this point I’d been in Fl for 19 days alone. I wanted my husband. I was so upset I told him I couldn’t talk to him. I called my friend Briana and sobbed. She told me she was coming to Fl. I argued with her. Told her No! She said I’m coming, I’ll stay till Bill gets there but you need someone. What I didn’t know was my friends had already begun trying to figure getting to Fl to be with me. They had told Bill their plans & they began working out the plans. Briana called me back later that night to tell me 3 of them were coming & would be there the next day, when my dad went into hospice. Well if you think I was mad about Briana coming, how do you think I responded about 2 more? I told her to cancel tickets. She told me “you can’t tell me how to spend my money” Exhausted I gave in & went to bed.

Friday 6/21 - just a normal day at the hospital where I’d spent the last 20 days for 8-10hrs daily. Except friends & family visited to say goodbye. And at 3:30 they wheeled my dad down to hospice. We left to rest up & go back that night to orchestrate goodbyes for Thomas, my sister & niece via FaceTime. The ladies arrived 30 mins before we left for hospital again.

We returned to my Dads house from hospice around 9pm. I went to bedroom to talk to Bill. He had texted one of them to tell them he needed them to be with me bc he had news he needed to share. To support me. Over FaceTime Bill told me he couldn’t come to Fl. When I asked him why he said “Baby there’s no easy way to say this but I have cancer and the doctors won’t let me travel” My world went numb. I know there was lots of cussing, throwing of things and crying. The love of my life had just told me, my friends and brothers that he had cancer. And my world was now even more filled with grief.

That weekend was a blur. My friends fed me, made sure I drank water, gave me whiskey, slept in bed with me & walked me through my dad’s passing. He died at 8:30 am Mon 6/24 just as I knew in my spirit he would. And I began the process of coming home to Bill and my family to fight his cancer battle.